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Family Life

Starting A Serious Relationship As An Adult: The ‘Firsts’ You Should Know About

April 1, 2022

When you were younger, it’s easy to find someone you can easily click with – head on to a party to mingle with people and you will likely meet someone you feel you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

What you were looking for or the one you hope to settle with in high school may not be the same standards you hold now as an adult. Growing up, you probably realize that there are things far more important than dealing with senseless flings or enduring petty fights.

When you do find someone at this point in your life, you will notice a couple of “firsts” that you have never encountered when you were young.

Spending Holidays, Going on Vacation with the Family

For some of us, spending the holidays together with our family has been the norm since we were young. However, this is inevitably going to change as part of your journey to independence and interestingly, it is also a part of dating as an adult. Yes, you read that right.

One of the most nerve-wracking firsts in your relationship is meeting the parents, but perhaps what’s even more memorable is celebrating special occasions with them.

Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock - Visiting your partner’s family for the holidays provides pressure on you

Of course, by the time you learn that you’re about to spend some time with your partner’s parents, paranoia starts. Remember that holidays are the time for family reunions, which means you will likely meet the extended family, which also equates to more pressure on you to impress them.

If you’re really anxious about it, it’s better to talk with your beau and both of you can think of strategies to protect each other. “We Do: Saying Yes To a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love” author Stan Takin said it is best for the couple to reassure each other that they have each other’s back, especially if the other person doesn’t know anyone in the place.

Moving In

BalanceFormCreative/Shutterstock - Moving in with your beau may sound exciting but you should think about it first

One sign that the relationship is getting serious is when a couple moves in together. It sounds exciting to be always together, in fact, there were 18 million unwed adults living together in 2016, a 29-percent increase from 2007.

However, cohabitation is much more complicated than just following the trend and psychologist Janna Koretz said both parties’ expectations should be realistic. She advises that partners should communicate with each other and set their expectations straight, making sure that each understands these assumptions before any move.

Getting a Pet

Synergic Works OU/Shutterstock - Adopting or buying a pet is more work than you thought

A trip to the pet store and sighting that adorable puppy shouldn’t be enough to get yourself a pet. It’s a huge responsibility and a couple should think about it long and hard if they would be the right furparents for the fluffer.

Some of them may argue that they are using the pet as a practice for parenthood, but although it could instill responsibility and get the word on starting a family rolling, raising a child is definitely harder. That’s not all, having a pet doesn’t come cheap – according to Petfinder, an adoption company, it may set you back from $500 to $10,000 annually!

Having THE Talk

The future can be scary because you have no assurance that what you want will happen. When you and your partner finally have that talk, it’s best that you both lay out what you want. Do you intend to have kids, want to get married? These are just some of the things that you should be open about with your partner.

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